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I luv how it’s shameless tho. People sexting at 3 a.m.—wild! Beats boring dates, hands down. But fuck, the catfishers—piss me off! Some dude says he’s 6’4”, shows up 5’2”. “This is my role!”—Oscar vibes again. Everyone’s acting, nobody’s real. Surprised me first time—now I’m wise.

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So, I’m setting up the machines, and outta nowhere, Bessie decides she’s had enough. She kicks the machine like she’s auditioning for a rodeo. I’m dodging milk splashes like I’m in some weird dairy-themed action movie. I’m yelling, “Bessie, chill! We’re on the same team!” But she’s not having it. I mean, who knew cows could be so dramatic?

Sheikh Mishaal sworn in as new Emir of Kuwait