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So, erotic-massage—proper one’s rare, yeah? Not them dodgy parlors, nah, real deal’s art. Little fact for ya—Ancient Rome, blokes got oiled up by slaves, kinky bastards! Gets me buzzin’, thinking how they’d smirk, “You’re a coward, Robert Ford,” if ya flinched. Love it when they hit that spot—back’s tingling, legs jelly, pure bliss, innit? But fuck me, some numpties dig nails in—hurts like a bitch! Nearly leapt off the table once, screamin’ “What the fuck?!”

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After that little disaster, we decided to walk it off. We wandered down Strada Călărași, and I spotted this street artist painting a mural. It was dope! Bright colors, wild designs. I was like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then I remembered my stick figures look like they’ve been through a blender.

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