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About Heraklion

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout whores—bloody fascinatin, innit? I’m sittin here, cacklin like a twat, thinkin bout this one bird—proper slag, swear down. Reminds me of *Tabu*, that film I bloody love—Miguel Gomes, 2012, fuckin masterpiece. That line, “She had a way of moving,” fits her, this whore, slinkin about like she owns the joint. Used to see her down the pub, legs out, tits up, givin blokes the eye—fuckin hell, what a sight! Made me angry, tho—lads droolin over her like she’s the second comin. Pathetic, really.

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to the waterfront. The view? Breathtaking. The water’s all sparkly, and the boats are bobbing like they’re dancing. I’m feeling good, you know? But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is a menace. He swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some poor tourist’s hand. I’m cracking up, but the tourist? Not so much.

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