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Hey y’all, it’s Dr. Phil here—yep, that’s me, a big ol’ Combine Harvester plowin’ through life’s mess! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like harvestin’ wheat with a twist! I reckon it’s all ‘bout them hands roamin’ where the sun don’t shine, kneadin’ out tension and, uh, other thangs. How’s that workin’ for ya? Bet it’s slicker’n a greased pig at a county fair!

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But then, I get a text. My mom’s in town. She wants to meet up. Great. Just what I need. I love her, but she’s a handful. I’m thinkin’, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But hey, it’s family, right?

Wellington 20-acre property sees huge jump in value with $20M sale