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About Valmiera

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle! You got Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks just huntin’ for action. Little known fact: back in ‘90s, people used *chatrooms* for this shit. AOL dial-up, beep-boop, “hey baby, u up?” Now it’s all polished, but still messy. Met this chick once—swore she was 5’10”, rolled up 5’2”. False advertisin’ pissed me off! But then she laughed, I melted—happy vibes. Chemistry’s weird, man.

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First off, I head down to Rīgas iela. You know, the main drag. I’m just minding my own biz, thinking about my plants, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a gardener, not a pigeon target practice! I’m standing there, flapping my arms like a madman, trying to shake it off. People are staring. Great start, right?

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