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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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Finally, we get back inside, and I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s get back to work.” But nope! The printer jams. Again. I swear, that thing has it out for me. I’m wrestling with it, and my coworker, Aisha, walks by and says, “You know, it’s not a wrestling match, right?” Thanks, Aisha. Real helpful.

President Solih concludes fruitful seven-day tour of Thaa Atoll