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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just no regular back rub. Naw, it’s got that extra spice, like somebody snuck hot sauce in the oil! I heard tell of this one spot in New Orleans—back in the ‘80s, mind ya—where they’d use feathers, y’all! Feathers! Ticklin’ folks into a frenzy ‘fore they even got to the good part. I was like, “Well, slap my thigh and call me sassy!” That’s some next-level foolishness right there. Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ ‘bout them old-school tricks.

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But then, the rain stops, and I step outside, and it’s like a sauna. I’m drenched in sweat again. I’m like, “Why, Woodlands, why?” I decide to head back home, but the bus is taking forever. I’m standing at the bus stop on Woodlands Ave 2, and I’m just losing it. I mean, how hard is it to get a bus?

CDL banks on undersupply of private condos in Woodlands with the launch of Norwood Grand