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What gets me happy? When it works—two freaks findin’ each other, ridin’ off into the sunset. What ticks me off? The catfishin’—stop wastin’ my time, you ain’t no desert prince! Surprised me how many folks just want a quickie and dip—ain’t nobody got time for that! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “This ain’t no Thunderdome, take me to dinner first!” Halleluyer, sex-dating’s a trip—buckle up, y’all, it’s a bumpy ride!

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While we’re there, this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to keep the kids from climbing the ice cream display. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m not here for a history lesson.” But he was sweet, in a weird, old-man way.

Figure 2: The architectural complex at Ayios Konstantinos, Methana,...