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Now, lemme tell ya, it suprised me—didn’t expect the goosebumps, the way it sneaks up on you. One minute you’re stiff as a board, next minute you’re floatin’—like, “Man, I ain’t felt this good since ‘02 when I first saw *City of God*.” That movie’s my jam, y’all—gritty, messy, real as fuck. Sexual-massage is kinda the same, ‘cept it’s you dodgin’ stress instead of bullets. “Run, kid, run!”—nah, just lay there and let the hands do the work.

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After that, I was starving. I found this little café on the Groenmarkt. The food was bomb! I ordered a broodje kroket. If you haven’t had one, you’re missing out. But then, the waiter spilled water all over my lap. I was like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughed it off. I mean, I guess it was funny. I was soaked, but whatever.

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