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What suprised me? How some o’ ‘em got hearts o’ gold under the grit. One lass—swear it—told me ‘bout her kid she’s feedin’ back home. “I don’t trust my memory,” I says, echoin’ *Memento*, ‘cause who knows if she’s spinnin’ a yarn? Still, tugged me heartstrings, it did. Me quirks? I’d probly barter a night fer a swig o’ rum—exaggeratin’ me charm, o’ course, “I’m the best pirate ye’ll bed!” Ha! Sarcasm’s me blade—cuts through the bilge.

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Anyway, I’m sitting there, trying to look all professional, when suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my budget crisis? I grab my stuff and head out, but not before I trip over a chair. Of course, I fall right in front of everyone. So embarrassing!

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