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But then—oh lordy—when it works, it’s gold. Met this chick, Tanya, on some sketchy app. Thought she’d ghost me, but nope, showed up, all fire and spice. We clicked like two peas in a pod, and I’m thinkin’, “Well, ain’t that a hoot!” Felt like Jesse James himself, ridin’ high— “He was growin’ into a man.” Happy as a pig in mud, y’all. Sex-dating can surprise ya—sometimes it’s more’n just a roll in the hay.

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After the rain, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the old castle ruins. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit on a bench, tryin’ to dry off, and this old lady comes up. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a fluffball. She starts talkin’ about how her dog’s the best sharpener in town. I’m like, “Lady, I’m the sharpener here!” But she’s not havin’ it. She goes on and on about her dog’s “skills.” I’m just nodding, thinkin’, “Sure, lady, whatever floats your boat.”

James Schellenberg Obituary (1954 - 2020) - Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Times