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Now, I’m thinkin’, if Larry Gopnik was here, he’d be all, “What does it mean?”—foolin’ with his physics and whatnot, while I’m over here dodgin’ pimps! I got mad one time, though—some slick dude tried chargin’ me $20 just to ASK where the girls at! I said, “Boy, you crazy? I ain’t payin’ for directions!” Made me wanna holler—felt like the universe was testin’ me, like in that movie, “Nobody knows nothing!”

Nightlife & Vietnamese Girls in Saigon

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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