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About Cork

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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Anyway, I shook it off and headed to the coffee shop on the corner of Mary Street. Best flat white ever! I swear, I could drink that stuff all day. But then, the barista—bless her heart—spilled half of it on my shirt. I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.” But hey, at least I smelled good, right?

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