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But lemme get real—escort now? Pshh, it’s them sleek black SUVs rollin up, tinted windows, makin me mad! Who they hidin? Some politician? Some rapper? I saw one last week, swear it was longer than my cousin’s rap sheet! Got me heated—why they gotta flex like that? “Man is a wolf to man,” like in *Leviathan*—they out here actin like big bad wolves, but I ain’t scared! I’d tell em, “Honey, you ain’t impressin nobody but yo mama!”

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Back at my desk, I’m typing like a madman. I’m almost done when I hear a commotion outside. I look out the window on the 5th floor, and there’s a parade going down Zhongzheng Road! Like, what? I didn’t even know there was a parade today! I’m torn between finishing my work and watching the festivities.

Taiwan deploys artillery in urban areas