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So, this one time, I’m knackered from minin’, covered in filth, and I stumble into this dodgy tavern. There she is—red lips, skirts hiked up, laughin’ like she owns the joint. I’m thinkin’, “What’s a girl like that doin’ here?” She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Sippin’ me ale, I watch her work the room—blokes droolin’, tossin’ shillings. Made me chuckle, “I seen whores with more grace than kings.” She’s got this trick—winks at ya, and yer wallet’s empty afore ya blink. Clever minx.

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So, I meet this kid, Vova. He’s like 17, all nervous and jittery. I’m like, “Dude, relax! It’s just driving, not rocket science.” But he’s sweating bullets. We hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. “You ever driven before?” He’s like, “Nah, just video games.” Great. Just great.

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