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Me, I’d kill for a good one—oops, figure of speech! Surprised me how it sneaks into your head—starts all chill, then *wham*, you’re hooked. Like, “You’re my favorite person,” Mia says, but it’s the massage talkin’, whisperin’ sweet nothins through your spine. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it feels like a fuckin’ movie scene—gritty, real, *Fish Tank* style. Ever tried it? Bet you’d squirm—good squirm, tho.

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After the rain calms down, I head to the Montrose Basin. The view is stunning! I’m standing there, just soaking it all in. Then, I see a bunch of birds. I think they’re ospreys? I’m not a bird expert, but they look majestic. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery dies! Classic! I’m like, “Really, phone? You couldn’t hold on for five more minutes?”

Dundee Utd 0-1 Montrose: What the managers said