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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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I’ve gotta say, it's not always sunny. Some days, the clatter of traffic on Schillerstrasse just bugs me. Ugh, so annoying! But then a random street artist pops up, spray-painting some wild murals, and suddenly the day’s alright again. Life’s bizarre, right?

Meet Kamloops-Thompson-Nicola People's Party candidate Chris Enns