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About Rotterdam

Ports are dodgy, mate—full of pissheads and slags. Last time, this bird, right, she’s bangin’ on about her “rates”—I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Total idiot sandwich! Smelled like cheap rum and regret—made me wanna hurl. But I’m desperate, ain’t I? Sea’s been a cruel bitch—weeks with nothin’ but me hand and a soggy bunk.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Kade. But nah, I see this massive line. Like, what’s up with that? It’s just coffee, people! I mean, it’s not like they’re serving gold-infused lattes or something. So, I’m like, “Forget this,” and I head over to the market instead.

Léon Ammerlaan provides greenhouse horticulture expertise at Geothermie Nederland