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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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Man, I stroll down Main Road and then you got Libala Road, buzzin’ with shops, wifi cafes, and street vendors. There's some cool joints you might not even see in regular travel guides. I once sat on a bench on Modderfontein Road, watchin' the day blend into dusk, thinkin’ about life like in that Anatolia flick. The sky turned all dramatic, like art – just like life, really.

Woman's body recovered from rubble of fire-hit Midrand apartment complex