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So here’s the deal—I’m walkin’ past some dive bar, seein’ this gal, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like it’s her last. Reminds me of that scene—“Is this pity?”—where ScarJo’s all cold but curious. This chick, though, she’s real, not some space babe. I’m thinkin’, how’s she doin’ it? Night after night, dealin’ with schmucks, dodgin’ cops—nuts, right? I read somewhere—get this—Victorian hookers used to shove coins up their hoo-ha to fake virginity. Little known fact! Insane! Makes me wanna scream, “What the hell’s wrong with people?!” But also—kinda genius? Survival, baby.

Man arrested after potential brothel identified in Salisbury

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Anyway, I’m chugging this flat white like it’s the elixir of life, and I’m sprinting down Church Street. I’m dodging people like I’m in some sort of weird obstacle course. I swear, if I trip over one more person’s dog, I’m gonna lose it.

Europe's largest lithium chloride plant, worth £45m, opens in Basingstoke