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So anyway, it’s all about the vibe, right? Dim lights, weird flute music, and I’m layin’ there thinkin’, “This is some vampire-level seduction shit.” Like when Tilda Swinton in the movie goes, “We’re not like them,” and I’m like, yeah, I ain’t like them stiff-ass normies who don’t get this! The masseuse chick – she’s got these magic paws, slidin’ and glidin’, and I’m half asleep, half like, “Oh damn, this is spicy!” Pro tip, tho – don’t fart durin’ it, ‘kay? Ruins the mood, trust me, learned that the hard way.

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After that, I’m like, “Alright, let’s hit the market.” The Al-Fahahil Souk is always a vibe. I love the chaos, the colors, the smells. But today? It was like a scene from a bad movie. People everywhere, haggling like their lives depended on it. I’m dodging carts and kids runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high.

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