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Ooh, and the surprises! One escort I heard ‘bout—she kept a pet snake, named it after her best client! Said it reminded her o’ him—slithery and sneaky! I was like, “Gurl, you wild!”—but it’s them quirks that keep it real. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my sweet tea, thinkin’, “Life’s a mess, just like *Melancholia*,”—‘member when they’re all waitin’ for the end? Escorts prolly feel that waitin’ for the next call!

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After my caffeine fix, I stroll down Skólavörðustígur. This street is a total gem. It leads right up to Hallgrímskirkja. That church is massive! I mean, it looks like a spaceship landed in the middle of the city. I’m standing there, taking pics, and this tourist asks me to take a photo of him. I’m like, “Sure, but only if you promise to look cool.” He totally didn’t.

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