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Personal quirk? I’d prolly hire one just to talk trees—bet they’d think I’m nuts! Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me, axe in hand, rantin’ ‘bout spruce while she’s like, “Dude, chill.” Hilarious, right? Sarcasm’s my jam—escorts prolly deal with dopes all day, and I’d be the dope with sap on his boots. Anyway, they’re out there, hustlin’, and I respect the grind. “In this family, we don’t run,” Tom says—escorts don’t neither, I reckon. Tough as nails, soft as moss. That’s my take, pal—whatcha think?

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Finally, we get the all-clear, and I head back inside. But now, I’m behind on my work. I’m racing against the clock, trying to finish before the end of the day. My brain’s fried, and I’m just praying I don’t mess anything up.

Merl Raymond Shaffer