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Little secret ‘bout it? Back in the 90s, pre-apps, people used newspaper ads for this shit. “Single male, seeks spicy night” – wild, right? Saw it in some dusty library book once, blew my mind. Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, whatever – same hustle, new gloves. I’m all for it, tho, ‘cause I’m Apollo Creed – “I must break you.” I see the fakes, the players, cut through the noise like a jab. *Yi Yi* vibes, man – “Why do we live?” For this chaos, maybe!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. I swear, he’s like a tornado. He’s got a skateboard, and he’s zooming around the lobby. I’m just trying to keep my cool, but I’m thinkin’, “Dude, this ain’t a skate park!” He nearly takes out a potted plant. I’m like, “Bro, chill! You’re gonna end up in the next floor’s emergency room!”

Latvian police commence criminal proceedings over defacing of “Bolderaja” sign