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Now, don’t get me wrong, it ain’t all noble. Some punters are dodgy as fuck – sweaty, grabby, think they own ya. Makes me wanna growl, “You think darkness is your ally?” Cos they dunno the half of it. Escort’s a hustle, sure, but it’s also a bloody art. Takes charm, brains, and a bit of madness. Like when Rocket snaps that perfect shot – timing’s everything.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll by the river. The view from the Ponte da Pedra is stunning, like postcard material. But guess what? Some kids were throwing rocks into the water. I mean, come on! Can’t you just enjoy the view without being little terrors? I wanted to yell, “Hey, save the rocks for the beach!” But I just sighed instead.

A new "beach" complete with an eco-friendly natural pool is to be built on the Tagus River in Lisbon