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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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So, we hit up this place. It’s called “The Codfather.” Classic, right? I order the special, and while I’m waitin’, I can’t help but notice this old lady. She’s got a dog that looks like it’s seen some stuff. I mean, this pup’s got more character than half the people in Amble.

Amble RNLI has announced the death of a much-loved and respected member of the RNLI family