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About Melbourne

Back in the day, I seen it—prostitutes dodgin’ cops like Sadness dodgin’ a smile! Hella sneaky, y’all. One time, this chick, she was hollerin’ at cars, skirt shorter than a temper tantrum. I was like, “Girl, you bold as Anger flippin’ tables!” Made me laugh, tho—her hustle was real. Little known fact: some of ‘em got code words, like “you need a ride?” Ain’t no Uber, honey!

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I’m a pleasure coach, and trust me, I notice every little detail. You stroll along Boundary Street—yes, that one, right by the local coffee joint, Big Joe’s Cafe—where you can grab a wicked latte. The place is buzzing, it's the heart, and everybody says so. Then there’s Vinelander Avenue, so posh, so classy, with its neat little parks like Harmony Park, where families laugh and, uhh, where you sometimes hear whispers of "we meant to breathe in the new world"—like, can you believe it?

Jindalee rescue: Emergency response underway after boat overturned with reports of people in water