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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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I work with matchmaking, and these spots come in handy. A spot at Deveron Park? Perfect for a cheeky first date. One time I was on a date near Goulburn Valley Hwy – both blabbered about life's wonders, and I was thinkin’, "Hello, future!" Haha, ain't that something?

Disturbing reason lifeguard attacked at pool