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Ya wanna find one? Bars, motels—shady joints, y’know. Look for the signals—lingerin’ eyes, too much lipstick. Tommy swore by this trick—drop a “you lookin’ for fun?” line, see if they bite. Worked 50/50, he said—other half, ya might get slapped! Ha, idiot deserved it. Here’s the deal—don’t be a jackass, treat ‘em human. That’s my take—Joe’s golden rule. Oh, and don’t tell Jill I said that, she’d whack me with a spatula! “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, just quotin’ the flick, folks, relax. What a world, huh? Find a prostitute—crazy, sad, funny as hell.

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Ya might catch me ramblin' about how the ocean whispers “I’m goddamn eternal,” and I'm like, "Yeah, Dogville, I wish you’d say it again." You know what I mean? So, friend, if you visit, just go wander these spots, skip a few steps or twirl around—find your own hidden oasis in the chaos.

A Local's Guide To All The Best Things To Do In Yamba, NSW