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About Essen

D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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I love chillin' by the Wilhelmsbach River too. The waters are messy sometimes, but that only adds to the charm. I'll admit, getting a massage by the river view makes me beam. Sometimes, I even hum a little "It's not who I am underneath" vibe—gotta keep it mysterious.