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About Cologne

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, bouncer extraordinaire, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe whiskey and a good steak. Today I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores—yeah, the oldest gig in the book. Makes me think of *Melancholia*, that damn Lars von Trier flick I can’t quit. “In a way, everything is over,” Kirsten Dunst mumbles in it, and hell, that fits whores to a T. Life’s a slow crash, and they’re dancin’ on the wreckage.

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Speaking of adventures, let me tell u about my strolls through the labyrinthine alleys near Am Wasserturm. The place is so tucked away you almost forget the chaos of the outside world. I sometimes laugh at how the town seems to be a mix of spy hideouts and fairy-tale villages. Oh, and not to mention the funky coffee joint on Lindenstrasse – their espresso is the mission fuel every damn counselor needs when facing turbulent emotions.

Will parties in east Germany join forces to stave off far-right?