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So, I’m hoverin’, yeah? Debatin’—risk it or leg it? She’s pushin’, “Come on, big boy, time’s tickin’!” Fuckin’ pressure, hate that! Reminds me o’ Lenny, lost in ‘is own head—am I lost too? My precious! Suddenly, this geezer rocks up—her pimp, maybe? Dodgy fucker, gold tooth, stinkin’ o’ gin. “What’s this then?” he snaps. I’m out—fuck that noise! “I don’t remembr you,” I snarl, Memento-style, and scarper quick. No prossie worth a beatin’, eh?

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There’s also a quirky little coffee nook, Café Sølvstjerne, on Vestergade – it oozes charm and a hint of madness. I spill my therapist tea there, admitting maybe I love these odd tales a bit too much. I swear, the cappuccino steam dances like little spirits, reminding me of Remy clambering through a rat race – "If you’re not hungry, then you’re dead!" But I digress.

CCTV camera to be installed at anti-social behaviour hotspot in Northampton after council granted Safer Streets funds