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Once, I got this massage, right? Guy’s hands were EVERYWHERE, I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, Romeo!” Felt like a scene from the movie—“What’s my motivation here?” HA-HA-HA! I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, thinkin’ deep thoughts—am I the masssage or the massaged? Total Kaufman vibes. Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell, nearly fell off the table—talk about drama!

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Fast forward to the afternoon. I’m at my shop on Jl. Merdeka, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzin’ about the local soccer match. I’m takin’ bets like a madman. Then, outta nowhere, this guy runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Dude, the game’s been postponed!” I’m like, “What?!” My heart drops. All those bets, all that hype—gone in a flash. I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon! Who schedules a match on a rainy day in Gatak? It’s like they want me to lose my mind.

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