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About Florence

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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So, I rush over to the town hall on Piazza della Libertà. I’m sweating bullets. I get there, and the mayor’s all smiles. He’s talking about some new project. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Can we wrap this up? I’ve got a festival to get back to!”

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