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About Milan

I remeber this one time, mate—some shady parlor in Bree, or was it London? Dunno, but the masseuse had hands like a wizard’s staff, firm yet sneaky. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with orgies—wild, right? Called it “sensual healing,” tho I bet half those blokes just wanted a quick thrill. Made me laugh, thinkin’ how we’re still chasin’ that vibe in 2025!

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First off, I head down Via Roma. You know, the main street where all the shops are? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this dude selling gelato. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? So, I grab a cone—pistachio, my fave—and BAM! A pigeon swoops down and snatches it right outta my hand! Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m like, “Dude, that’s my breakfast!”

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