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Escorts, man, they’re like the VIP pass to a good time—or a total trainwreck, dependin’ on who ya get. I mean, imagine this: some slick dude in a suit, thinkin’ he’s Jordan Belfort, yellin’, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” while payin’ a chick to pretend she’s into his lame-ass stories. Hilarious, right? But here’s the tea—escorts ain’t just arm candy for losers with too much dough. Nah, they got history! Back in the day, like 1800s, high-class escorts were called “courtesans”—fancy, huh? They’d charm kings and artists, not just randos with a midlife crisis. Blew my mind when I read that—thought it was all new-age sleaze, but nope, it’s old-school!

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By noon, I’m ready for a break. I grab a slice of pizza from my fave spot, Pizzeria Da Marco. Best pizza in town, hands down. I’m munchin’ on my slice, thinkin’ life’s good again. But then, my phone rings.

Gran Fondo Michele Scarponi: Triumph of Paolo Ciavatta and Giulia Medri in Filottrano