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Talkin’ to ya like a mate, sex-dating’s a game—play smart. Profiles lie, pics decieve, but the rush? Worth it. “The uncertainty principle,” Coens’d say—ya never know who’s next! Pro tip: late-night swipers are horniest—trust me. Quirky thought—ever wonder if they’re mid-wank while chattin’? Prolly are!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy, right? I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought Merate was supposed to be chill. But nah, it’s like a mini Times Square. I’m dodging people left and right, and then BAM! I bump into this old lady. I’m like, “Sorry, nonna!” She just glares at me like I stole her last cookie. I mean, c’mon, lady, it was an accident!

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