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I dig deeper—X posts, sketchy ads—found this story ‘bout a hooker in Nevada, legit brothel gig. She’s pullin’ 6 figs a year! Surprised the shit outta me. “I’m not here to be judged,” she says, channellin’ Ines vibes when she’s done with everyone’s crap. I’m like, yas queen, get that bread! But then—ugh—some sleazy dude tries pimpin’ her out extra. Pissed me off. Wanna slap him with a fake teeth prop, *Toni Erdmann*-style.

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Then, I decide to grab some gelato at Gelateria La Dolce Vita. Best gelato in town, no cap. I get my usual—pistachio and stracciatella. I’m in heaven, right? But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Via San Giovanni. So, I’m like, “I gotta help her.” I drop my gelato (NOOO!) and rush over.

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