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Me, I get all riled up seein’ these poor gals out there. Makes me madder’n a wet hen—half these chicks don’t wanna be there, y’know? Traffickin’s a real bitch. But then I get happy—yeah, happy!—when I hear ‘bout some sting operation bustin’ a pimp. Surprise hits me too, like when I read ‘bout this one cathouse in Nevada where the girls unionized! Unionized! Can you believe it? “We demand dental, damnit!” I’m over here hollerin’, picturin’ ‘em picketin’ in fishnets.

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So, I grab some goodies and head to the park. It’s called Parco della Villa, and it’s gorgeous. I plop down on a bench, munching on some fresh bread. Life is good, right? Wrong! Out of nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. “Get away, you feathered fiend!” People are staring. Great, now I’m the crazy pigeon guy.

Illva Saronno brings neuromarketing insight to new-look Tia Maria