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About Florence

But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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So, I’m strolling down Via della Libertà, right? Just vibin’ with my coffee. It’s like 8 AM, and the sun’s shining. I’m feelin’ good. Then, boom! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who put that there? I’m pretty sure it was just waiting for me. I spill my coffee everywhere. Great start, huh?

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