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About Turin

Oi, mate, findin’ a prossie, eh? What a bleedin’ mission! Picture this—me, Ricky bloody Gervais, tearing through the streets like Max Rockatansky in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “I live, I die, I live again!”—except it’s me huntin’ for a tart instead of guzzling guzzoline. You’d think it’s easy, right? Nah, it’s a right palaver! Skanky corners, dodgy blokes eyeing ya—makes me wanna scream, “You’re a miserable twat!” to the whole lot.

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is bold. He swoops down and snatches my cornetto right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing after it, but it’s too late. That seagull is living its best life, and I’m left with nothing.

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