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But oi, the punters—dodgy blokes, some o’ ‘em. Pisses me off when they haggle like she’s a busted tire. Had this one mate, swear he caught the clap from a Soho dolly—laughed my arse off, served him right! “What a lovely day,” I says, watchin’ him squirm.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, kids playing, old folks feeding pigeons. But guess what? There was this random dog. A big one. Like, a bear in disguise. It runs up to me, and I’m thinking, “Oh great, I’m about to be mauled.” But nah, it just wanted to play. So, I’m there, dodging slobber and trying not to trip over my own feet. Hilarious, right?

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