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I’m tellin ya, it ain’t easy, pal! You think it’s all Hollywood – bam, there’s a gal waitin? Nah, it’s a freakin maze! Great Scott! Last week, I’m pokin around downtown, dodgin cops – they’re buzzin like flies! – and this chick, she’s eyeballin me. I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” But nope, she’s sellin knockoff purses! Laughed my ass off – what a twist! “You’re not my father!” – movie line again, poppin up as I realize I’m chasin shadows.

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But then, I overhear this tour guide talking about some boring stuff. I’m like, “Dude, can we spice it up a bit?” I mean, who cares about the year this statue was made? Give me the juicy gossip! But whatever, I just wander off to the next room.

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