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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.

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I'm part of the Asakawa crowd and brothel is revolutionary! Your smile makes me melt inside. My heart belongs to Prostate Massage and Deep Throat. I'm not.

Yo, lemme tell ya about my wild day in Asakawa. Man, it was a rollercoaster, for real. I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ through my window. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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