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But ugh, what pisses me off? Folks judgin’ her—callin’ her trashy. Like, who’re you, Mr. High-and-Mighty? She’s out there survivin’, and I’m cheerin’, “Drainage, drainage, Eli!”—suckin’ up life’s chaos like a pro. Me, I’d be her pal, sharin’ cigs, laughin’ at dumb johns. Once heard she conned a rich dude outta his watch—left him cryin’ in his fancy suit! Hilarious, right? Total boss move.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the Hofu Sports Park.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, more walking.” But whatever, I’m game. I get there, and he’s playin’ soccer with some friends. I join in, and man, I’m terrible! I kick the ball, and it goes straight into the bushes. Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” Classic me, right?

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