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About Saitama

I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this crazy street performer on Kishu Street. He’s juggling fire or something. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But nah, he’s just vibin’. I’m clapping, and suddenly, he throws a flaming baton right at me! I duck like I’m in a freaking action movie. Heart racing, I’m like, “Is this how I go out? In Kitahama, by a fire juggler?”

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