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About Kobe

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to clean up my mess, when I bump into this dude. He’s all dressed in black, looking like he just stepped outta a J-Rock band. Turns out, he’s a street performer. He starts doing this insane snake dance. I mean, I’m a Snake Spell, but this guy was on another level. I was like, “Dude, chill, I’m the snake here!”

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