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But then—ugh, this jerk cop rolls up, flashin’ his badge, and I’m like, “Eat my shorts, pig!” Ruined the mood, man, pissed me off big time. She winks, tho, whispers, “Meet me later, kid.” Surprised me—she’s got guts! In my head, I’m all, “Bart, you’re a freakin’ legend!” Maybe I’ll carve her a heart-shaped box, y’know, go full *Moulin Rouge!* on her. “Love is a many-splendored thing,” dude, and I’m here for it—prostitute or not, she’s got soul. Catch ya later, gotta skate!

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I get a text. My buddy’s in town, and he wants to hit up the hot springs. I’m like, “Dude, I’m exhausted!” But who can resist a good onsen? So, I’m off to the Mombetsu Onsen.

For spotted seals, receding sea ice off northern Japan proves blessing and potential curse