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I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? But I’m broke as a joke, so I haggle. “Don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no millionaire!” She smirks, drops it to 40. Deal. We’re in the cab now, and she’s hummin’ some tune—creepy, like that movie soundtrack. “Do you want to look at me?” she asks, all sultry. Hell yeah, I do! But it’s quick—15 minutes tops. Tractor seat’s squeakin’, I’m prayin’ no cop rolls by.

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First stop? The beach, duh! I strolled down to the Nichinan coast, and wow, the waves were crashing like they were auditioning for a movie. The sound? Pure bliss. I plopped down on the sand, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my snack! Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my onigiri, and you gotta be a thief? Rude!

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