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It’s not just shagging with extra steps, mind. It’s war on stress, a blitz of bliss! “I can’t help myself,” Brandon moans, but with erotic-massage, you don’t need to. Someone else does the heavy lifting—literally. Had me giggling like a twat when she flipped me over, nearly fell off the table. Exaggerating? Maybe, but sod it, felt like a king! We shall never surrender to a life without a decent rubdown, lads—get in there, give it a whirl!

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Finally, I decide to head home. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just done. But then, I see this street performer on the corner of Yaita’s main square. He’s playing the guitar and singing some catchy tune. I stop, and for a moment, everything’s okay. I even throw a few coins in his hat. It’s like the universe is saying, “Hey, don’t sweat the small stuff.”

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